For those of us who have witnessed the harsh realities of combat, the world often loses its shine. The disconnect between us and our civilian counterparts can be stark, even in the best of times. It becomes especially difficult when someone, perhaps a sibling or friend, believes they understand life better than we do, dismissing the legitimacy of our experiences.
This isn’t to say we’re always right—far from it. But our perspectives are shaped by hard, jaded realities. When these individuals minimize what we’ve been through or accuse us of being this or that based on their limited viewpoints, it’s tempting to forcefully “educate” them.
Yet, it’s in these moments we must remember why we served in the first place: to protect these very people. Ironically, we often keep our burdens to ourselves to shield others from the darkness we’ve seen. At the same time, we find it hard to hold back when certain lines are crossed. The truth is, no matter how much we argue or how many paragraphs we write, we’re unlikely to change someone’s mind in the heat of the moment. Emotions flare, feelings get hurt, and even the thickest skin can’t always protect against resentment.
As veterans—especially those of us who’ve seen combat—it’s crucial to recognize the uniqueness of our community. Most people will never see the world as we do, and that’s okay. We served to preserve their right to live in the light, even if it means being “wrong.”
It’s hard to sit back and listen, to resist the urge to correct or confront. But sometimes, in listening, we find things aren’t as bad as they seem. And sometimes, we discover that our own jaded perspective might need a little clarity.
In this holiday season be especially mindful and enjoy people for what they offer. See you out there.
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