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During a recent scrolling of Facebook, a friend of mine had shared a list of things that were “un-Christian.” Of course, the usual suspects were there; everything from freemasonry to yoga and a few others. This time though the Enneagram joined the list.

To the witch hunter everything is evil. The Salem witch trials probably caught…well nothing honestly, because theology at the time said that witches wouldn’t drown and the men and women they put to death, well they died. Cotton Mathers was not a hero; he was a murderer plain and simple. He was an early proponent of copy/paste with the Bible, and it said exactly what he wanted it to say. Girl smart, she’s a witch so burn her, hang her, drown her. Of course he wasn’t the first to take scripture out of context. Just about every theologian from history did it. The church of course picks and chooses which parts they want to believe and adhere to.

Augustine was an early saint of the church who came up with many of the theological points that if you don’t agree, you are a heretic. Some of his points you can’t believe either or you’re a heretic, yet he’s a sainted one. His theory of original sin is pretty much ruled out. Without him, most people wouldn’t actually see Paul of Tarsus as they do though. Don’t dive into his beliefs on prefall sex either, that will leave you shaking your head in confusion. Basically, in the prefall, sex wasn’t joyful it was just another job people did with their body like peeing or pooping, I guess. He believed that Adam and Eve were predestined to fail, free will be darned.

I could list a ton of other sainted theologians just like him. Some right, some wrong; all high and lifted up. Pretrib/posttrib, predestined/freewill. It’s all just another way to say you’re wrong and I am right. Women should be submissive because one scripture leads you to believe that. One verse written by a man who was fallible, interpreted by men who are also fallible. Ironically there are absolutely no scriptures that state God will give anyone the judgement hammer from the judgement seat and allow them to make the calls. It is my hope that maybe some of those deemed heretical or witches get their chance, but I doubt it. Maybe those theologians who were murdered because they believed differently. Like the guy who thought marriage was more holy than singleness.

A popular theologian on YouTube posted about songs with bad theology. It disgusted me. Whose theology are you basing it on? Yours? Augustine’s? Slavary was theologically sound for how long? Interracial marriage…”And we know God works all things good for those who love him…” applies right? I mean I cherry picked it according to the theological rules of shattering others. Err I mean creating anti heretical doctrines.

Nobody really likes a Cotton Mathers because eventually they run out of things to be against and turn on whatever catches their fancy next. Today its theologically weak songs and enneagrams, tomorrow it’s gas-powered motors…oh wait. Ummm yeah tomorrow it will be wearing dress clothes on any day but Sunday or some other strangeness. Don’t be Cotton.

Believe in Jesus who came to this earth to save us. Don’t believe in theologians who weren’t in any way perfect.

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