What Makes a Man?

Being a man has nothing to do with what you do for work, how you dress, the colors you wear, or even whether you can grow an impressive beard. (Okay, maybe beards are up for debate—there’s just something about them that seems to spark endless fascination. But I digress.)

The point is, masculinity isn’t a checklist. It isn’t a one-size-fits-all label. Yet, men are constantly under societal pressure to conform to an image of what “real men” are supposed to look like, act like, and think like.

If you don’t wear a suit, some people assume you don’t have a “real job.” If you don’t wear pants—maybe you prefer shorts, kilts, or even skirts—you’re labeled as “unmanly.” If you spend more time indoors than outside, you’re somehow falling short of the rugged, outdoorsy ideal. And heaven forbid you choose the pink bike over the red one, or admit you’d rather bake cookies in a warm kitchen than fry bacon on a Coleman stove by the campfire.

These assumptions aren’t universal—they’re dictated by cultural norms and societal subcultures. Some people believe these things so strongly that they treat them like immutable laws of nature. And if you don’t measure up to these “standards,” well, you must not be a real man.

The Real Problem With These Standards

Let’s be clear: these expectations don’t just limit men. They actively harm them. By forcing men into a box—be tough, be stoic, be the provider—society robs us of our individuality, our humanity, and sometimes even our mental health.

Why can’t a man love poetry and still be masculine? Why can’t a man find joy in nurturing others without it being labeled as “soft”? Why can’t a man cry openly, wear pink, or enjoy a hobby like knitting without people questioning his identity?

The truth is, there’s no one way to be a man. Masculinity, like femininity, is a deeply personal experience. It’s not something anyone else can define for you, and it shouldn’t be something society gets to dictate.

Who Decides?

So, who decides what it means to be a man? Here’s a radical thought: you do. Your worth isn’t tied to your ability to wield a power tool, grow a beard, or fit into someone else’s expectations. What makes you a man—or a human being, for that matter—isn’t about what you wear, what you do for work, or how you spend your time. It’s about how you live authentically, how you treat others, and how you navigate this world on your own terms.

We’ve spent too long letting society tell men how to act, think, and feel. It’s time to break free from those constraints. If you want to build campfires and chop wood, do it because you love it, not because you think it makes you a man. If you’d rather bake cakes, design clothes, or spend your time inside reading, do that unapologetically. Masculinity doesn’t belong to society—it belongs to you.

Redefining Masculinity

Here’s what I believe: being a man isn’t about checking off a list of traits or behaviors. It’s about integrity, compassion, and the courage to live life authentically. It’s about respecting yourself and others. It’s about embracing your passions, no matter how “unmanly” someone else might think they are.

The world doesn’t need more men who fit a mold. It needs more men who are willing to be themselves—flaws, quirks, and all. So wear what you want. Do what you love. Define masculinity for yourself. And if you can grow a great beard, well, that’s just a bonus. See you out there.